The Night Come

“Men must live and create,” Camus wrote in his Notebooks. “Live to the point of tears.” This poem was inspired by the works of Camus, Frank O’Hara, and Walt Whitman.

The night come
The mystery and thrill that subtle moment holds
A secret love  
Opening the door to life
Teeming with vivid, sensuous details…
Street lights buzzing in the distance
Gray-blue water lapping against the rocks 
Straggling Ivy gracing the brownstone
Soft cashmere against the skin
The simple pleasure of a hand to hold

I notice a woman
I hear her sweet giggle. 
She is festive and full of energy.
Her brown hair, blue dress, and thick gold chain hang like garland around her neck. 
Her love lunges forward with a quick kiss and an adoring smile. 
Knowing glances exchanged
Like a river, I can see love sweeping them along
The kind that wakes at dawn, 
Tastes like chocolate, and rides to work on a cloud
For a quick moment, I can relate.
I owe to such evenings the notion I have of love.

I wake up this morning
In the circle of your arms
Yesterday’s “to-do list”. I don’t know. 
Am I the same person? 
I cannot separate the light bursting from the sky 
The place where desire and hope whirl

The only sin against life is avoiding its richness
Despite the universe’s benign indifference
I am happy still
And when the weather inside 
Pushes against me, I push back
Looking for the invincible smile
The Invincible calm
Something better, something firmer
The struggle itself is worth the fight
It is enough to fill my heart

Reflections

Desire is the nervous system's movement toward what it values. It is the body's impulse to reach before the mind has found its reasons. What's notable in this poem isn't the absence of struggle. It's the choice, made in the body before the mind agrees to it, to push back against the weather rather than be moved by it. That push is its own kind of aliveness.